


Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 38: A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court

by specspectacle, Twilight-Owls (LadyTorix)



Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [39]
Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Embedded Video, Episode Commentary, Episode Review, Podcast, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 20-30 Minutes, Swearing, Video, YouTube, transcript
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:42:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27206095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/specspectacle/pseuds/specspectacle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTorix/pseuds/Twilight-Owls
Summary: Did you know magic exists in the Transformers universe!?  Yeah, neither did we!  (And neither did the giant robots.)
Series: Afterspark Podcast: Transformers G1 [39]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1220114
Kudos: 4





	Afterspark Podcast: G1 Episode 38: A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you need an audio only version of the podcast please check out the links at the end of the transcript.

[Stinger]

O: Just be _screaming_ at the top of his lungs the entire time.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 cartoon. I'm Owls.

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we are joined by my husband, Chezni cuz uh, we're going to be talking about his favorite episode, which is episode 38: Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court! 

C: Hello.

O: Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yep, let's do it.

O: What's the worst that can happen?

C: We all die.

S: I can think of any number of things.

O: [laughter] Wow, guys!

C: [laughter]

O: It’s like that Marge Simpson meme: “Can you lighten up a little there, kids?” You’re just, like: “We could all die!” Okay then. Anyway-

S: We open in yet another fire fight between the Autobots and Decepticons.

O: Starscream is apparently really hungry as he complains about the lack of energy.

C: Ramjet is still gunning to go and attempts to ram Warpath, who instead sends Ramjet flying into Starscream, Ravage and Rumble.

O: Starscream is ready to flee but Rumble senses some energy inside a cave.

C: Ravage just goes barreling past and into the cave and the rest follow him-

S: Because when Starscream has the munchies it's everybody's problem, I'm afraid.

C: Warpath with his whole “Zip! Powie! Wowie!” normal sense of self collapses some rocks onto the entrance trapping them inside the cave.

S: And the interior of said cave looks, um, vaguely like a temple for some reason?

O: Starscream decides he's going to be all dramatic about it and calls it, “Their tomb!,” when the entrance is blocked, too.

C: I mean, how much do you want to bet he acts like this anytime he hasn't had lunch?

S: Seems like a really easy bet.

O: He definitely does. Rumble then points at a rock slab and says, “Hey, there's energy here!” 

S: This rock has, uh, some weird writing on it and some sort of touchpad functionality. You know, for robots, apparently. 

C: Starscream just runs over and knocks Rumble completely out of the way.

O: With ye old wonderful bonk sound effect. Also, poor Rumble, I hope Soundwave gets mad at Starscream when they get back.

C: Man, he hit him pretty hard. What happened to faction loyalty? 

O: Please, Starscream? Loyalty, what loyalty?

S: Starscream then says some bullshit about, uh, because he's their leader he needs to take the risk if the slab is dangerous.

C: Besides! He's hungrier than Rumble! 

S: Yeah, never mind if there are any negative consequences to this he'll definitely be using Rumble as a robo shield.

O: As you do. Outside, Hoist is trying to clear the rubble from the cave entrance with Warpath providing his normal colorful commentary.

C: Inside, Starscream finishes highlighting the text on the tablet- I mean, ancient stone. 

S: It's- it's a super old-gen tablet, don't you know.

O: You know, made of rock. Ramjet turns around and points out that the entrance is magically not blocked anymore?

S: And they are all just like nyoom out of there without any critical thinking whatsoever.

O: Critical thinking? In this show? When’s that a thing?

C: I mean, they literally had reality change around them and they didn't stop to think about it. Like, I'm surprised Starscream doesn't think this is some sort of Autobot trick or something considering how paranoid he is.

S: Yeah...

O: No, that would be a logical thing to do.

S: Mm-hmm. 

O: Outside we have one lone human female, uh, who sees all the Decepticons- that some says something about, “Big ass knights coming from the dragon mound.”

S: This'll be coming back later. 

O: Ha! Yeah, yeah! I'm sure this won't be relevant at _all._

S: Two human knights on horseback attack Rumble. All the Decepticons think they're just some really weird looking Autobots.

C: Up until Starscream just sort of pushes one of them over and Ramjet headbutts the other off his horse. 

S: [Sighs] That's Ramjet: solving all his problems with his head.

O: He's got one talent and that's it.

S: Yeah, it's in- it’s all in the name. Ramjet then offers some constructive criticism as the knights appear to fall into two pieces when they fall off their horses.

O: Starscream picks up a piece of armor and comes to the conclusion that these are humans pretending to be robots. 

C: The main knight takes offense at this as well as when Rumble calls his armor outdated.

S: Leading our intrepid idiots to realize that they have traveled to the 1500’s, apparently.

O: The question is: Have they also teleported? Were they fighting in England? Or were they in the US somewhere?

S: Or somewhere else all together. And we will get absolutely zero answers on this.

O: Yep, that's normal. 

C: Then our lone female hiding in the bushes and eavesdropping flees to warn her father about the magical men, naturally stepping on a stick which immediately alerts everyone to her presence.

O: Because some cinematic cliches are timeless. 

S: The knight uh, the Decepticons are talking to comes to the very quick conclusion that the noise came from a spy and Ravage immediately chases after her. 

C: I mean, not only is it hilarious that, ah, Ravage immediately outpaces the horses but he just hears the word “spy” and seems to reflexively go after her with no context. He's just, like, “What? A spy? I must go!”

O: Fetch! 

S: I think he's probably thinking about when Spike’s spied on them a few times and, i mean, the general idea is probably to catch her first and ask questions later. He's- he’s clearly been traumatized by how many times Spike has fucked shit up for them. 

O: Speaking of Spike, the lady runs smack into him while running away from Ravage. 

S: They dodge and Ravage runs smack into Warpath.

C: Or vice versa.

S: Regardless, Ravage- Ravage skedaddles. He flees. 

O: Smart move. The lady leads Spike, Warpath, and Hoist away, back to her father's castle.

C: Is she just not concerned that you know two more giant metal men have stepped out of the dragon mound? I mean, how does she know these ones are allies? 

O: The color coding, my dear, color coding. 

C: Oh, okay.

O: That doesn't even begin to make sense but-

C: These are good colored ones-

O: Yeah- yeah, but Starscream is actually in some pretty traditionally heroic characters [character’s colors] if we're going by kind of the normal color coding in cartoons.

C: Yeah-

O: This is why it's kind of funny that she's like, “Ah, yes, the giant, angry red one is totally fine or-”

C: Those meta ones: Suspicious. These metal ones: A-okay. 

O: These are friend-shaped.

S: Well, they- they chased away the thing that was chasing her so-

O: I'll give you that.

S: I don't know. It's provisional, I guess and, at any rate, Hoist is clearly a history fiend as he's able to accurately date the girl's clothing.

C: Someone's a history nerd! 

O: A bot after my own heart.

C: She finally introduces herself as Nimue and confirms we are, as the title would suggest, in Camelot. 

S: So, she's named after the Lady of the Lake.

O: We presume, because she's clearly not the _actual_ Lady of the Lake. She asked for our- the Autobots help to defeat the Decepticons to which the Autobots agree to help.

S: Then Hoist transforms and Spike and Nimue get inside. 

C: I mean, how did she know to get in there? Like, she just straight up sees that open door and jumps right in. 

S: Well, I guess they could have carriages? She might have also assumed that, I don't know, maybe It's just a weird ass magic portal. 

C: I mean that's true but why wasn't she surprised when the giant metal man transformed into one? 

O: They’re in Camelot, dude, they've seen some serious shit. 

C: [Sighs] It's only a model.

O: Later at Nimue’s father's castle, Spike is trying on some armor.

S: Some very ugly looking armor. 

O: That he can barely walk in. 

S: Hoist is obviously the fashionista of the Autobots, at least when it comes to human clothing. He knows armor and dresses, alike, and makes some better fitting armor for Spike. 

C: We can build it better, stronger, faster-

O: Spike? No, we can't. 

C: [Laughter] 

O: While Hoist is working, he asks the king why he and- or I don't know if he's an actual king or if he's just a lord? Anyway, he- he asks Nimue's father why he and the black knight who allied with the Decepticons are fighting to which the king responds with: Cows.

S: Cattle raids were quite common at the time.

O: Which is not the reason he gives, instead it's that they got through a- break in a fence and ate his garden and he apparently took, you know, personal offense at this but, well, wars have been fought over less.

S: Look up Washington State's Pig War. It's educational.

O: [Laughter] 

C: Hoist finishes up the armor, dunks it in some water to cool it, and then just hands it all in one piece to Spike.

O: I'm pretty sure that should still be way too fucking hot for a human to touch.

S: Yep.

C: Hoist is also apparently getting low on energy.

S: I have to wonder how much energy went into making that armor. 

O: I mean-

S: I guess-

O: Yeah, I have no idea.

S: [Sighs] So Spike gets his armor on, trips immediately, and then Nimue fawns all over him which seems kind of silly.

C: Ugh, yeah... and Spike gets a kiss out of the deal for, like, no reason.

S: Mm-hmm.

O: All right! What is the number one rule for time travel? Don't fuck with the past and, by that, I mean don't fuck in the past! 

S: At least not with anyone you didn't bring with you.

O: Yes! Yes, good point! Good point!

C: I guess that would make them safe. I mean, after all, what is the statistical likelihood of this being one of Spike's distant ancestors?

O: Look, if the universe doesn't care about the possibility of Spike doing the horizontal mambo with this great- great- great- something grandma, who the heck are we to judge? 

S: Well, the further back you go the more likely you are to be related to random famous people, I guess.

O: [Laughter]

S: I don't know, I mean it happens. The next day Nimue's father, Sir Aetheling is hosting a jousting tournament.

C: We see Spike getting ready with Hoist lowering him onto his horse with his hook, while Warpath gives him fighting advice.

O: It's actually quite sweet how supportive Hoist and Warpath are being during all of this.

S: And when did Spike learn to ride a horse?

O: I was wondering-

C: How-

O: -the exact same thing. Sometime, maybe when he was not living on an oil rig?

C: Heh.

S: Maybe-

C: Another life?

S: I mean- I mean, Sparkplug's the most interesting man in the world, maybe he did a- maybe he did a patch of work at a ranch or something?

O: [Laughter] Ranch-hand Sparkplug! 

C: So Spike fights very bravely and is defeated very quickly. His horse sparing him no dignity as it drags him off the field. 

S: Yep, uh, considering that Spike is hanging onto the horse's tail it's a pretty well-tempered horse, cuz you really don't want to be on that end of the horse it will kick the hell out of you.

C: Well, it just- it doesn't need to consider insignificant things.

O: [Snorts] So the Black Knight, Sir Wigend of Blackthorne, finally shows up and due to the rules of 80s cartoons, uh, both him and Nimue's father decide that whomever wins a jousting match will be the ruler of the land.

C: Well, that seems completely unnecessary therefore, I agree! 

O: Of course, so Wigend being, you know, evil-ish is like, “Aha! But you will have to fight my champions, not me!” 

S: [Sighs] Uh, I'm going to conveniently stand out and leave you with some giant metal men.

O: Those giant metal men being Rumble and Ramjet. Rumble’s holding a lance and it cracks me up.

C: Then literally the greatest thing ever conceived in _any_ children's show happens! My inner nine-year-old is just screaming in delight as one robot mounts a jet [while] holding a lance and shield, preparing for a joust of the ages!

O: [Laughter] Okay, you now- you know why we had to have Chezni on this episode with us.

S: Mm-hm, mm-hm, my question is: We see Ramjet’s thrusters go on now, um, so how are they maintaining a speed of 5 to 15 miles per hour? Even rolling on tarmac jets a rather quicker than that.

C: It's- it's, uh, it's the grass. [Laughter]

S: God, this must be such a bumpy ride.

O: Rumble’s had worse, and besides they're trying to intimidate the humans, not blow them away with a sonic boom.

S: True.

O: Of course, in response to, you know, uh, Ramjet and Rumble, Warpath transforms and the red knight mounts him. I mean that in the least sexy way possible. [Laughter] God, this is ridiculous!

C: It's not ridiculous! It's _art!_

S: [Sighs] Starscream is pretty pissed to realize the Autobots have followed them into this time period.

O: It's his world, dammit! He thought he was finally gonna be in charge!

S: He had plans and nothing is going according to them.

O: [Laughter] Isn't that just a normal day for Starscream? 

S: Yeah.

C: Yes. Yes, it is. Simple physics dictate that Warpath is the quick victor over Ramjet as Ramjet has his cone bashed in. Wait, how does Ramjet live through this?

S: I don't think his brains are in his head.

O: Or at least not that _part_ of his head. Uh, Nimue goes full Karen on Sir Wigend, telling him he'd better apologize to her father.

S: Yep and Starscream hits his fuck-all point and decides to kidnap Nimue to get what he wants.

C: Yoink! 

S: He wants to color coordinate his hostage with his colors.

C: [Laughter] 

O: Starscream-

C: Oh my god-

O: Drives off with Nimue in his cockpit telling her dad that he'd better surrender his kingdom if he wants to see her again.

C: Ah, typical Starscream.

S: Clearly, the Decepticons are suffering from lack of energy as they are unable to take flight and the Autobots aren't able to maintain their vehicle modes, transforming back into robots.

O: So, Hoist and Warpath have ended up in a pile. 

C: Uh, guys? Uh, wha- what are those two robots doing? 

O: Well, you see, when a daddy robot and a daddy robot love each other very much-

C: Oh, dear lord, I need an adult.

O: You are an adult!!

C: It's still not enough to prepare me for this!

O: [Laughter]

S: You weren't ready for the cogs and sprockets talk.

O & C: [Laughter]

C: I don't understand, what are they? They're robots, Harold. 

O & S: [Laughter]

O: ...Yes.

S: Aside from all this madness, we see an owl spying, you know, on the, uh-

O: Chaos.

S: Yes, the chaos. The hazards happening down below before returning to a man in a green cloak.

O: Naturally, as we are in Camelot, this is Merlin. Merlin exists in this universe, guys! 

S: Yep, yep! 

C: Oh dear.

S: [Laughter]

C: The owl apparently communicates this whole kidnapping situation which Merlin somehow understands and responds with, “Make some idiot 20 feet tall and he thinks he rules the earth.”

O: And then made some cryptic comment about getting singed by a dragon and walks off. 

S: [Laughter] Elsewhere, at the black knights castle, Rumble does us all a favor and shoves Nimue into a tower.

O: Sir Wigend protests but Starscream pops up and is like, “Surprise! You're my bitch now!”

S: It's Starscream, he wants everyone to be his bitch.

C: And then immediately after he just falls over from lack of energy. 

S: Wolfe, who works for Sir Wigend, shows up and hands starscream a whole treasure chest full of gold.

O: Starscream compliments him and Wolfe gives the camera the most coy look i've ever seen in an 80’s cartoon.

C: It is so coy.

S: Does he have his hands clasped?

O: I- I think so? But I might be misremembering that so don't quote me. 

C: It's very strange looking regardless.

S: Uh-huh.

C: Then Starscream just sort of crushes the jewelry in his hands, which somehow immediately turns it into a fine gold wire.

S: Which apparently leads him to creating some sort of energy device that requires a bunch of humans to move around and basically, um- [Sighs]

C: Like, aren't they generating some kind of electromagnet? 

O: Something like that?

S: Yeah, but it- honestly they'd get more energy if they just went and found a river and stuck it in the- in the river. Paddles in the river.

O: Please, the Decepticons are, like, on principle allergic to green energy, dear.

S: It just seems like it would be less waste and effort-

C: But there’s no servitude in that!

O: [Laughter]

S: Yes!

C: Starscream needs servitude with his lunch.

O: Starscream's a talking jet, he wants servitude!

S: It just seems like less effort to have to go and kidnap people to do the servitude-

C: [Laughter]

O: They’re not kidnapping, they're just making Sir Wigend’s staff do it, duh! [Laughter]

S: Yes-

C: That’s true.

S: But eventually they're gonna drop dead.

O: [Laughter] 

C: Uh... Rumble and Ravage attempt to step into the machine to recharge but Starscream steps in front of them and says he needs it more than they do.

O: Rumble is just not allowed to eat today. 

S: [Sighs] And back at the Red Knights’ castle, Spike is whining about it being all his fault that Nimue got kidnapped.

C: Spike, you need to have some chance at succeeding before you can take any responsibility for the failure of the situation.

S: He's been parentified by a bunch of giant robots.

O: [Snorts]

S: I don't know. Warpath encourages Spike to attempt to save Nimue himself while he and Hoist continue to prep a different rescue plan. 

O: Well, he encourages Spike's _ill-advised_ rescue attempt, anyway.

S: Uh-huh.

C: Is it just me or is he just trying to get Spike out of his hair?

S: That is very possible, so, maybe. 

O: He was moping a lot. I would find that annoying, personally. 

S: Spike, er, he just sounds so pissy when he is like, “Yeah, fine, yes.”

O: So now back with, you know, Sir Wigend and company-

C: The other Cons are like, “Are you done yet?” to Starscream. 

S: Yeah, yeah, he just sounds so pissy when he was like, “Fine, yes.” 

O: Starscream steps out of the little energy field thing and is apparently having everyone retrieve items from his grocery list next.

S: Ramjet is working on charcoal and Starscream orders him to go get some rock salt. Rumble and Ravage have been tasked with getting sulfur. 

C:They literally only got charged for a few seconds before Starscream told them to get out to go get the ingredients.

S: Rumble grumbles and says they also need some potassium nitrate. As a bird poops on Starscream, instead he tells Rumble that he- that Rumble now needs to go get the potassium nitrate.

O: For everyone as confused as I was about why a bird just pooped on Starscream and why that was relevant, apparently you can get potassium nitrate from birds droppings, so when Rumble grumbles about, “Oh, are you gonna go get this, then?”

C: Funny you should mention.

O: And Rumble's like, “Well, crap.” Literally. 

S: Mm-hm. Sir Wigend attempts to apologize to Nimue but she chucks the stool at him, as well as attempts to hit him.

O: With her fist. 

C: The sexual tension in the scene rises.

S: Well, she is not taking any of this lying down.

O: So, instead, the two of them fall on the floor together rolling around for a bit.

S: They're rolling in the hay.

O: Sir Wigend admits that he's been, “An idiot.”

C: What do you know, a white male character admitting he was an idiot! Michael Bay stole so much from this episode to make his fifth movie. Why couldn't he have taken that? 

O: No! No more Bay movie talk! [Laughter] He so- he then flatters her- telling her that her eyes are beautiful and she immediately drops him on the ground and says, “They are?!” 

S: And Sir Wigend just flops like a ragdoll.

O: [Laughter]

C: It's pretty hilarious. Outside, Spike is attempting to climb the tower in his full plate male armor!

O: He gets to the top but falls down into the moat, sinking because of said armor.

S: He proceeds to take it off with no issues- _underwater_ \- so how is it staying on?

O: I think all of this begs the question of, how did he get over to the tower in the first place? Because it was on the other side of the moat!

S: Yep.

C: He ducks underwater as the drawbridge lowers above him.

S: And Rumble walks across completely covered in bird shit. 

O: [Laughter] At least he got plenty of potassium nitrate. He also clearly made a new friend, as the pigeon is just sitting on his shoulder.

S: He must miss being around birds that don't create droppings. 

O: He will never complain about Laserbeak or Buzzsaw again.

S: Ramjet tells him, “Good job!” and even calls him “little buddy.” 

O: Ramjet seems, like, not horrible in this. Good to know.

C: Spike, from underwater, hears them talk about the sulfur, potassium nitrate, and so forth.

O: How!?

C: It's the opposite of mansplaining: it's Superman hearing! 

O & S: [Laughter]

O: Oh, and then we cut back to Starscream who's now stirring a bunch of stuff in a giant fucking cauldron like a goddamn witch's brew.

S: Where did they even get a cauldron that big? 

O: Ye old cauldrons are us?

C: That had to be a thing.

O: [Laughter]

C: All of this has been to create gunpowder which Starscreams demonstrates by casually tossing some at a nearby wall.

O: You know, it strikes me he doesn't have very much respect for other people's property.

C: I mean, he's basically just in a giant, like, toy house as far as he's concerned.

O: True. 

S: Yeah, Spike arrives at the top of the tower but Nimue cheerfully tells him she doesn't need rescuing because her and Sir Wigend are getting married. They're gettin’ hitched.

O: Outside, the Autobots and Nimue's father are trying to lay siege to the castle. 

S: The Cons and their human allies start catapulting, uh, barrels of gunpowder into the- onto the Autobot forces, destroying their mobile siege tower.

O: Nimue's father asked how they're going to scale the wall?

C: Oh, no! If- if only we had some sort of large, mobile metal construction that could reach that height! Like a- like a _man?_ Like a giant metal man? 

O & S: [Laughter] 

O: So Hoist uses his body to span the moat as Ramjet and Rumble continue to attack from the castle walls.

C: Rumble just starts punching parts of the tower wall down onto the forces below. 

S: Rumble, that is a terrible idea when it's your castle and then Warpath is protecting some soldiers who are so insignificant to this scene they didn't deserve color.

O: Or actual spears!

C: It's true, they're just- they're just not colored in this scene. 

S: Yep, Sir Wigend asks Wolfe for help but, instead, Wolfe yeets him off the tower. He's purple, so of course he does that.

O: Don't worry, he's fine, he landed in the moat!

C: They had parachutes, they all survived.

S: Spike walks out, stool in tow, and tells Wolfe that he has to deal with Sir Spike now.

O: Oh, you knighted yourself now, have you?

S: Fittingly, Nimue is actually the one who takes Wolfe out with the stool to the head.

C: Remember kids, it's not violence if, in place of guns, you use household objects instead. 

O: Hoist acts as their forces’ siege tower and the knights use him to scale the wall.

S: Hoist will happily assist but does not particularly want to do the demolition himself.

O: He does take some offense at Warpath using him as a step stool, though. 

S: Well, I think I would too. Warpath and Ramjet start beating on each other with big, ol’ wooden sticks.

C: Just like any schoolyard brawl between two boys.

S: Unfortunately, Ramjet wins this round because he's been able to charge more and, because Warpath runs out of energy, he gets tossed on top of Hoist.

C: In another scene, Ravage attacks Spike but is chased off by the owl from before, running away.

O: Ravage is super small here, like the actual size of a dog or jaguar compared to the episode where he kidnapped Chip and was as tall as Chip.

S: Merlin shows up and zaps Hoist and Warpath with lightning, which recharges their batteries.

O: Oh, yeah, _magic_ fucking exists in this universe by the way!

C: Starscream just screeches about how, “Magic can never defeat science!” 

S: Oh, Starscream, you're about to be real disappointed real soon. 

O: Hoist and Warpath jump over the moat in vehicle mode, destroying Starscream's machine and defeating the Decepticons.

C: Afterwards, Spike laments that he didn't get the girl. 

S: What about Carly, Spike, what about her? [Specs Note: I keep forgetting that he’s supposed to be, like, 14-15 years old? Maybe 16? Dunno how much time’s passed since the Autobots woke up on Earth. It makes the entire situation weirder. How old is anyone in this episode?]

C: Ooooh.

O: Well, at least we don't have to worry about the time paradox of being your own great- great- great- great- great- grandfather now, presumably. 

S: Merlin tells them that they can get back home the same way they came here. 

O: Oh! But you remember that nugget from before? It's called a “dragon mound” because a dragon has moved in!

C: And with this revelation I feel the need to mention that this means that Transformers, G.I. Joe, and Jem all exist, canonically, in a world where magic, dragon[s], and time travel exists!

O: Don't forget Inhumanoids.

S: But apparently Mertin created it originally because- well, the time travel doohickey, because he needed a time travel device to get his fancy 20th century doodads.

O: As you do.

C: They arrive at the dragon mound and the dragon comes out pissed but don't worry, because Merlin's got a totally magic-based solution for this problem: Dragon's Bane.

O: Starscream is not happy about having to trust “unscientific superstition.”

C: But as Merlin lists off the ingredients of this ‘Dragon's Bane,’ it quickly becomes apparent that Merlin's 100% magical solution is actually just gunpowder again under a different name.

O: [Laughter] Warpath chucks the Dragon's Bane at the dragon, which explodes, and the dragon flies off. 

S: Then Warpath and Hoist go for some, you know, low fives. 

O: I legitimately think this is because they cannot raise their arms over their heads. One or both of them, I'm not sure. 

S: The Cybertronians, plus Spike, walk back through and arrive in the present.

C: Getting shot at almost immediately. 

O: Spike and Co retreat.

S: Starscream runs over and tackles Megatron asking if he's happy to see him. [Laughs]

C: And Megatron just screams and the episode ends.

O & S: [Laughter]

O: Yeah, yeah, I mean, that's what I would probably do if Starscream showed up, uninvited, and destroyed my victory or something. So join, at least, me and Specs, next time for The God Gambit. Everyone bow to your new god: Astrotrain.

S: And your new idol: Cosmos!

O: [Laughter] Yeah! And I believe Specs has some, uh, fanfics for us today.

S: Yes, I do. So the first fanfic recommendation is “The Human Condition” by Wayward. It's based on the G1 cartoon continuity. It's rated T, there's some minor slash, um, there are some very there's various pairings, it's- none of it’s explicit. Characters: Mainly the Decepticons, there's a few original characters involved, and also Merlin shows up.

O: Again! [Laughter]

S: At least once or twice, um. In summary, “The Decepticons have been struck by a terrible curse: They've been turned human. But will they look for a cure or use it to their advantage?” And recommendation, it's kind of a direct callback to this episode because of-

O: Merlin, I assume. 

S: Well, Merlin and also Starscream- well, how the episode starts off and, basically, why they end up cursed.

O: All right.

S: So, it's multi-chapter and it's complete, but it's in the middle of a series, so there might be some stuff that happens in it that ref- references stuff earlier in the series but it's been such a long time since I've actually read it that I'm not sure if you'd need to read early in the series but I think this can be read, um, on its own and enjoy it. But it's some of Wayward's earlier work and she’s still got it up on fanfiction.net but it's not the stuff that she's got on her AO3 account.

O: Gotcha.

S: So, I enjoyed it- it's fun, it's- it's just- it's a good read. And the secondary recommendation is “Novikov Principle” by Spoon888. It's also in the G1 cartoon continuity. It’s rated T, it's slash, uh, the pairing is Megatron/Starscream, and the characters are Megatron and Starscream with-

O: Double the amount of Starscream. [Laughter]

S: Yeah, double the amount of Starscream. And, in summary, “Starscream uses time travel and messes up yet another assassination attempt by accidentally jumping into the future instead of his past. He learns that his life to come involves a lot less universal domination than he would have expected and somehow that's worse.”

O: [Laughter]

S: So the rec is- ah, recommendation theme- it's time travel and also Starstream schemes, and it's a complete one shot.

O: Um, this one's great. I actually read it, um, I- I think an alternate either- either the author said this or somebody in the comments said it an alternate take is “Starscream traumatizes himself.” 

S: [Laughter] Oh, I didn't look at any of the comments but it was one that I enjoyed reading. And that about wraps it up for us today. Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as AO3, iTunes, Spotify, and Youtube, just to name a few. And feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, or Youtube, or AO3! Till next time, I'm Specs.

O: I’m Owls.

C: I’m Chezni.

S: Toodles.

[Outro Music]

**Author's Note:**

> **Fanfic Recommendations:**
> 
>   * [The Human Condition](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/522804/1/The-Human-Condition) by [Wayward](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/125588/Wayward)
>   * [Novikov Principle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14828798) by [Spoon888](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888)
> 

> 
> **Where to find us:**
> 
>   * [Anchor](https://anchor.fm/aftersparkpodcast)
>   * [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/AftersparkPod)
>   * [Google Play](https://play.google.com/music/listen#/ps/Imo2wtgyxc6dc5ayfomcavnitaa)
>   * [iTunes](https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/afterspark-podcast/id1452120342)
>   * [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/Afterspark-Podcast)
>   * [Stitcher](https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/afterspark-podcast?refid=stpr#_=_)
>   * [Twitter](https://twitter.com/@AftersparkPod)
>   * [Tumblr](https://afterspark-podcast.tumblr.com/)
>   * [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCG4cYaXdC4dtgl7a_paS6vg#_=_)
> 

> 
> You can also find us on our personal Tumblrs [@twilight-owl](http://twilight-owl.tumblr.com/) and [@specspectacle](http://specspectacle.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
